- The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche

reflections

I write to some of you from "the future" as the clock here already reads 00:33, 1 Jan 2026.

Staying, Committing, Becoming. This past year asked me to stay.

Not in the romanticised sense. Not “stay comfortable” or “stay inspired.”
But to stay present. Accountable. To stay with complexity.

2025 began in motion. Jen and I welcomed the year dancing with community, setting intentions, and stepping into early steps with what would become The Human CV and a new home together. There was travel, vipassana, edges, surprises, achievements, searching & applying for work, refining my craft. On the surface, already a full and varied year.

Of course, that was only the surface. The turning point arrived quietly, and then all at once.

I returned to Turtle Island (N. America) in March to see family, sell & donate my possessions, and visit beloved friends. When I returned to Ōtautahi Christchurch in April, Jen was unwell in a way neither of us understood yet. Her strength had faded. Weight dropped. Energy disappeared. Some days she could barely stand. What scared me was the not knowing. For weeks there was no diagnosis, no clear timeline, no reassurance that this would pass. I faced the possibility that she might not recover fully, or that I might lose her altogether.

Something in me steadied anyway. Not heroically. Just practically. I focused on what was in front of me. Nourishing meals. Hospital visits with calm, loving presence. Asking for help when I needed it. Letting fear exist without letting it lead.

During that same period, our application for a rental house was accepted, adding a move to the mix while we were still awaiting a diagnosis. More than simply shifting into nurse mode, I moved through those weeks in a narrow tunnel of attention, doing what needed doing, and trusting my body to carry the rest.

I recall picking up Jen from the hospital and driving us to our new house, exhausted and excited, anxious and overjoyed. It was not a Hollywood romantic milestone, but a practical necessity. Beautifully, we deepened trust, our connection, and co-created our first living space together as she slowly emerged from a long, uncertain chrysalis. A full recovery was becoming more certain!

The middle of the year became an apprenticeship for a different sense of masculinity. It was rooted in presence rather than performance. Alongside the utmost important task of caring for Jen and making ends, I continued learning about myself, alongside brothers through our tāne (men) group, through community organising, and new affiliations and work. There was also the novelty (for me) of having my own home on a fixed contract. What a wild, full circle. I see now how much that time period shaped me to be more disciplined, devoted, and trusting my abilities.

By late winter, Jen’s health fully stabilised. We hosted community. Planted a small garden. Walked by the moana (ocean), her happy place, frequently. I chose to speak publicly about parts of my story I had long kept private, including on a podcast conversation where I reflected on grief, gratitude, and becoming. That act of speaking changed how I related to my own voice.

Later in the year, I was encouraged by Jen to spend nights alone amongst the maunga (mountains) and ngahere (bush, forest) again. They are my power places. They reaffirm why I do this at all. Time in the taiao (environment) grounds me. It helps strip things back to what matters. It reminds me that awe and wonder are not luxuries; they are fuel.

When I look back on 2025, I find myself deeply grateful:

- a loving, supportive partner
- friendships I can lean into
- health, nourishing food, and a body that keeps showing up
- time, space, and a living taiao (environment) around me
- no debt, and enough financial stability
- a safe, warm whare (house, home)

I’m also standing at thresholds. I’m continuing the search for accredited (to pave the way for residency) and values-aligned work here in Aotearoa NZ, because I am committed to being here, and clearer than ever about what I bring and who I want to work with.

The stories are no longer quiet. Stories shaped by migration, care, failure, love, organising, land, and becoming. I’m finally beginning to tell them: in writing, in film, in daily kōrero (conversation), on my own and with others ready for it.

If you’re reading this as someone curious about collaboration, storytelling, systems work, community-rooted projects, let’s meet and talk, preferably face to face.

We stay.
We commit.

We show up.
And we become.

2025 was the year I learned that staying is an active choice, and that responsibility begins where avoidance ends.

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creations

A 6-min video year recap, narrated by yours truly, with organic footage served with a delicious soundtrack by Anne Leader named Samadhi. 2-3 hours of script writing and refining, followed by 8-9 hours of footage culling, editing, and production:

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I also (re)shared a few posts on LinkedIn:

• About stepping into an edge to be facilitating a session at the Leaders for Equity Unconference in Ōtautahi Christchurch.
• About feeling hopeful even as I am aware many may not be at the moment, thanks to uplifting people and projects.
• ​Fi Deehan with a beautiful little recap of her time being interviewed by Jen (and video produced by me) here, and here.

And of course, the deep and meaningful passion project that was The Human CV by and with my beautiful partner Jen Stevie - twenty long-form interviews with changemakers and do-gooders from around the motu (island(s)) that is Aotearoa New Zealand.

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global good news

It would be dishonest to say this year was easy. Uncertainty, conflict, and ecological strain around the world are (still) very real.

And, when I widen the lens (ha ha), I see steady progress moving alongside the chaos. People living longer, healthier lives. Clean energy continuing to scale. Forests regenerating where care is applied. Communities organising locally, feeding each other, restoring land, and building what old systems no longer hold.

The data supports this, even when the headlines don’t. Progress rarely looks like a breakthrough. It looks like persistence. Repair. Cooperation over collapse. Again and again. The invitation is to reclaim our attention and agency. Less outrage. Less blame. More doing. More living the example of the world we wish to inhabit.

That’s what I’m practising, imperfectly, each day. The difficulties and dips are part of the work. They build resilience and keep us grounded. The future isn’t guaranteed. But it is still being shaped. These are the reminders and takeaways when I consume little to no mainstream media and instead focus on what GOOD is happening - much more than we’re often led to believe.

We start with...

• ... the United States, where elk have been reintroduced to the Sierra Nevada after 17,000 acres of ancestral land were returned to the Tule River Indian Tribe. Salmon have returned to the headwaters of the Klamath after last year’s dam removal, for the first time in more than a century. The Hopi are re-popularising dry farming. The Blackfeet and other nations are re-introducing bison to parts of their native range.
• Leishmaniasis, a tropical parasitic disease spread by sandflies, is in retreat. Once rampant across South Asia and Africa, annual cases of its deadliest form, visceral leishmaniasis, have fallen by nearly 60% in the past decade. With 98% of treated patients now cured, it’s a milestone that should be front page news.
• In a landmark step toward reconciliation, Victoria has become the first Australian state to enshrine a treaty with First Peoples into law. Passed to applause and tears in parliament, the Statewide Treaty Bill establishes Gellung Warl, a democratically elected Aboriginal body that will be formally consulted on laws and policies affecting Indigenous communities. The treaty also cements the work of the Yoorrook Justice Commission, Australia’s first truth-telling body, which investigates the ongoing impacts of colonisation and systemic injustice against Aboriginal Victorians. ABC​
• Bolivia grants Indigenous title over 2,700 km² of Amazon forest after 20-year campaign. After two decades of efforts, the Tacana II Indigenous communities of the Madre de Dios River have secured formal collective title to 2,723 km² of ancestral forest - an area around one third of the size of Yellowstone National Park. The new territory links five major protected areas across Bolivia and Peru, strengthening a transboundary wildlife corridor while granting the Tacana people autonomy to manage and conserve their land. Andes Amazon Fund​
• Deaths from the world’s deadliest infectious disease down by 29% since 2015. The latest WHO report shows TB mortality fell to 1.23 million in 2024, the lowest number ever recorded, and a 29% drop since 2015, with the African and European regions achieving reductions of 46% and 49% respectively. Over 100 countries have cut mortality by at least 20% since 2015, marking a quiet shift back to long-term progress after the setbacks of the pandemic. WHO​
• In Canada, the legalisation of recreational cannabis in 2018 has delivered one of the world’s clearest examples of how policy reform can cut crime. Police-reported drug offences are one third lower than in 2019, and cannabis-related arrests have collapsed by nearly 90% since 2014. What was once the driver of two-thirds of all drug crime now represents just 17%. Stratcann​
• Mongolia has approved a 15-year, $200 million conservation deal that will expand protected areas to 30% of the country, adding 141,600 km² and improving management across existing reserves. The plan also supports sustainable grazing across a further 339,000 km², working with 200,000 herding families to reverse overgrazing and protect carbon-rich grasslands and peatlands. Backed by a new fund, the initiative marks a national pivot toward climate resilience and landscape restoration. Nature Conservancy​
• Countries strengthen the systems that keep the water flowing. The World Bank reports a quiet but significant global shift: countries are rebuilding their water systems to reach more people and to survive changes in climate. Across its active portfolio, 75.5 million additional people have benefited from safer water, sanitation or hygiene services in the last year, with climate resilience now embedded in nearly all new projects.
• New Mexico has become the first US state to offer universal, free childcare, the culmination of a decade-long organising push by childcare workers, families, lawmakers, researchers and the Catholic Church. Fuelled by the state’s oil-and-gas endowment, the most recent overhaul eliminates income tests and co-pays, raises wages for educators and creates a dedicated loan fund to expand centre capacity, saving some families more than $12,000 a year. The Guardian​
• What is AI even good for? Is this all just in aid of search summaries and ChatGPT girlfriends? Well, not entirely. Five years of AlphaFold has caused a global shift in how biology is done. Humanity now has a public database of 200 million predicted protein folds used by millions of researchers, faster pathways for drug design, and the tool has been cited in more than 35,000 papers. AI can now predict not just protein structures, but full molecular interactions, accelerating discovery far beyond what labs alone could achieve.

• And even more missed headlines that may just brighten your day/week/month/life here, huge thanks to Fix The News.

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recommendations

Book: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche​

Podcast: Tyson Yunkaporta on Pattern, Kinship, and Story in a World of Decontextualized Minds on The Emerald

Video: 'The barbershop where men go to heal' - Matt Brown's TEDx Christchurch talk​

Music: Beautiful Sonica & Deepersounds set by Jai Cuzco​

Movie: Wilding (2023)​

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gratitude

For those of you new here - 歡迎! Nau mai, kia ora! Welcome, and thank you.
Your time and attention are invaluable, and I sincerely hope you find value in this publication.

I give thanks to friends and supporters around the world who drop me DMs, comments, reshare my newsletter, videos, podcast, and other creations, and those who hire or refer me and my services to their mates and community.

This newsletter publication is a labour of love and devotion. I create this because of radical self-expression and the dedication to be a spreader of good in our world. It has served as my personal time to create and (re)connect with friends and connections near and far without using big-data, algorithm-based platforms. Simply, directly via email.

Read previous editions here. I invite you to share what's inspired you with others and consider contributing financially on patreon - this is the only ad you'll see. Patreon keeps the newsletter, Wilderness Within Podcast, and other spontaneous projects and passions going. I am SO grateful for a truly community-supported project since 2018.

A continued reminder that I've been seeking accredited employment in the spaces of content creation, community weaving, systems change to pave the way for residency in Aotearoa New Zealand. I've made a personal statement video - a video resume, really. It's also on LinkedIn, which is where I hang out more than ever. If you're able to help or know someone who may be able to, I'd be so delighted for a connect! 🙏🏽

多謝你嘅關注. I appreciate your attention Reader!🙏🏽
Kai J.