subtledream newsletter 30th edition - finding home and becoming a storyteller


“If we’re free from the burden of trying to be completely original, we can stop trying to make something out of nothing, and we can embrace influence instead of running away from it.”

by Austin Kleon in “Steal Like an Artist


reflections

Kia ora koutou, 大家好, warm greetings to you, Reader!

On the previous edition, I recall being in a state of clarity I hadn't felt in some time. There was new year energy (especially lunar new year); it was summer in the southern hemisphere, with seemingly neverending, warm days filled with sun and blossoms in beautiful Aotearoa New Zealand (indigenous Māori name of NZ); I was riding an equanimous wave of steadiness coming out of my third vipassana and with nourishing relations unfolding. 🌞

The weeks that followed were filled with massive shedding of the old to make room for the new - a connective and nourishing festival named Relish, and a journey to Turtle Island (North America) to downsize + sell most of my belongings, catch up with family and beloved friends, and bring back what I need and wish to continue life on this magical motu (island) in the South Pacific. Upon my return, I felt right at home again. Immediately, life asked me to step up in a big way to support my partner Jen. I am so grateful for the support of our community, Jen's resilience and equanimity, and the modern medical system, especially with universal health care. Home is here. Right underneath my two feet and all around me with he tāngata (the people) and he whenua (the land). I haven't felt this rooted in a place ever in this life. 🏝️

This nomad has found his home.

I have been investing in my relations and nest - office, living areas, bedroom, kitchen, a manner that feels novel, exicting, and also scary for me. I've never dropped so much money into kitchenware, houseware, sharing expenses, decisions, and budgeting with a partner. I have also continued to invest in my own business with new equipment and time to produce new and aligned content. What a feeling and reward - to have a safe, peaceful, simplistic space where I/we rest, cook, play, laugh, create, love, and invite many of our favourite people in. 🏡

On the topic of creation, I received this response after the last newsletter which deeply touched me. It's from a long-time connection, going all the way back to uni(versity) while I was in San Diego, California:

I just wanted to send you a quick thank-you for your newsletters. I don't engage with your work nearly as much as I'd like to, and some days, like today, I struggle to engage with the world at all -- to find words, energy, a sense of meaning, motivation, and hope.
I don't think we got to know each other much personally during our time practicing Hapkido, so I don't know if you're aware that I've struggled with severe depression for most of my life. I'm not really sure why I'm bothering to mention it now, perhaps just as a point of reference for why I often find it so difficult to connect to any sense of positivity.
But I always find your work uplifting when I have the mental bandwidth to pay attention to it -- it's nice to be reminded that there are people who are still dreaming of (and working towards!) a better future, for themselves and for the world. So thank you.

It's feedback and honest shares like this that keeps putting fuel on the fire. My inner flame has always been burning; I now know my strengths and offerings better than ever - there is clarity on my why's. I believe that finding people who cherish your work really keeps you going especially in times of self-doubt and challenges. I am so thankful to have found a supportive community-audience who reminds me of my gifts and contributes to sustain that fire mentally, financially, and emotionally. 🤲🏽

Like in Feburary, I'm doing something new again - I'm storytelling from a first-person perspective filled with reflections that stretch back to childhood, realisations about being my own hero in the tale, and connective, healing experiences with myself, the land, and my parents all condensed and produced as an episode on the Wilderness Within Podcast. It's already live on all major listening platforms - keep scrolling to learn more and dive in. 🙃

I have an ask - would you leave an honest (raving 😉) review on Google (Maps), especially now that I've registered Subtledream Productions on Google as a business? I'd love to hear ways in which my photos, videos, writing, podcast, and other interactions may have added value to your life, business, etc. Hit the 'Write a review' button whether you're on a laptop or mobile device. Ngā mihi nui, thank you so much in advance. 🙏🏽

Now, some handpicked stills of captured moments from the past 3 moon cycles. A mixture of community, mahi (work), friends, art, and magic. Big gratitude for this colourful, vibrant life - full of up's and down's, contradictions, mysteries, and indescribable beauty.


good news

In need of uplifting news (instead)? Me too.

These global good news are gathered from FixTheNews newsletters (free!), then further hand-picked by me:

  • South Africa's wattled crane rebounds from brink of extinction. South Africa's wattled crane population has increased from fewer than 200 birds in 2000 to over 300 today, improving its conservation status from critically endangered to endangered. The recovery follows three decades of targeted conservation efforts including wetland protection, power line modifications to prevent collisions, and partnerships with farmers whose land contains crucial breeding habitat. Mongabay
  • Kenya’s latest energy policy review shows that electricity access rose from 37% in 2013 to 79% in 2023. Almost everybody living in an informal urban settlement now has access to an electricity connection, raising the overall urban access rate to nearly 100%. The Kenyan government is aiming to reach 100% electricity access by 2030 and 100% renewable electricity generation by 2035. Forbes
  • China has transformed over 650 km² of monoculture forests along the Yangtze River into diverse mixed ecosystems, expanding mixed-forest coverage from 6% to 62%. The $150 million initiative engaged has provided 10,000+ farmers with sustainable livelihoods that doubled monthly incomes, and is on track to transform 1,300 km² by 2027. Beyond improving biodiversity and water retention, the transformed landscapes will sequester 23.5 million tons of carbon over 30 years. World Bank
  • Kerala is poised to eliminate rheumatic fever: The Indian state has a population of 33 million, but, last year, it recorded just 15 cases of acute rheumatic fever. Since 2019, cases have dropped by 70%, far surpassing the WHO’s 2025 target of a 25% reduction among people under 25. Remarkably, this progress has come without a national control programme. Health experts credit Kerala’s high human development index and strong healthcare access as key drivers of the decline. New Indian Express
  • Clean power surpasses 40% of global electricity for first time since 1940s. Clean electricity reached a historic 40.9% of global power in 2024, driven by record renewables growth, with solar and wind together exceeding hydropower for the first time. Solar is leading the charge (now doubling every three years) and 80 countries now generate over half their electricity from clean sources. Ember
  • New Caledonia has enacted a sweeping 50-year ban on all commercial seabed mining across its entire 1.3 million km² maritime zone. The French Pacific territory, home to nearly one-third of the world's remaining pristine coral reefs, says it is prioritising environmental protection over economic extraction, allowing only non-invasive scientific research. RFI
  • Deforestation in the Amazon continues to decline. According to satellite data from DETER, the first three months of 2025 saw around 400 km² of forest lost in the Amazon. That's 20% lower than the first three months of 2024, and less than half the 844 km² that was lost in the first three months of 2023.
  • Plus, new satellite data reveals promising restoration progress across Latin America, with 13 of 18 countries maintaining or increasing tree cover between 2015-2023, and two-thirds of countries experienced greening in urban areas. WRI
  • Indonesia is implementing the second phase of its 'Investing in Nutrition and Early Years' programme, with the aim of reducing childhood stunting to just 5% by 2045. In 2017, Indonesia launched the programme's first phase, which reached over 20 million children and trained more than 75,000 community volunteers, leading to one of the world’s fastest recorded drops in the childhood stunting rate, from 30.8% to 21.5% between 2018 and 2023. World Bank
  • How Pakistan pulled off one of the fastest solar revolutions in the world. A 'perfect storm' of plummeting panel costs and soaring electricity prices made it world's third-largest solar importer last year. Unlike other countries, Pakistan's estimated 15GW of newly installed capacity is almost entirely on rooftops, giving citizens unprecedented control as both consumers and producers of electricity. CNN
  • After a century of infestation, Palmerston Atoll in the Cook Islands has been officially declared rat-free following an eradication operation. The local community has already seen improvements in food security, with fruits and vegetables flourishing without rat damage. Wildlife is rebounding - wood pigeons and red-tailed tropic birds have returned, while seedlings, crabs, and lizards show notable increases. New Zealand Dept of Conservation
  • The Our Ocean Conference has generated 2,618 commitments to ocean action since 2014, with 81% either completed or in progress In that time, $133 billion has been mobilised for ocean protection, including $23.8 billion in completed projects. At this year's just-finished conference, the EU pledged €301 million, including €40 million to support marine protected areas and help partner countries ratify the High Seas Treaty. Oceanographic
  • These aren't just paper commitments. Some of the completed projects include Chile's establishment of a 720,000 km² marine protected area around Rapa Nui (a.k.a. Easter Island) and Palau's creation of the world's largest no-take zone, the 475,000 km² Palau National Marine Sanctuary.

original work

This is my first, full, solo episode, and it was unexpected and unscripted. I was inspired to speak into my life and what's alive in that moment in the canyons of Angeles National Forest in California. Letting it flow out felt right.

In this deeply personal solo episode, yours truly, Kai J., return to one of the lands that raised me—Los Angeles—to walk, reflect, and speak aloud the truths that have shaped my latest chapter. Through spontaneous storytelling on the trail, I explore what it means to finally meet the hero I've been searching for: myself. From honouring ancestral roots and interviewing my parents on camera for the first time, to shedding victimhood and stepping into authorship of my own life story, this is an intimate meditation on privilege, presence, and the power of becoming our own witness. Blending ancestral reverence with humble awe for modern miracles, I invite all listeners into a moment of grounded gratitude and radical self-honesty. This episode is a reminder that storytelling isn’t just for others—it’s for the future self, too. Whether we're in transition, healing family dynamics, or redefining our own path, this episode holds space for the question: What story are we here to tell—and are we brave enough to be its protagonist?
show
Kai J. Lee - Becoming the St...
May 15 · Wilderness Within Podcas...
61:52
Spotify Logo
 

Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube | iHeartRadio | RSS

Supporting patrons have exclusive access to the video version of this episode!

Connect & engage with WW:


recommendations

Books:

Podcasts:

Music:


gratitude

For those of you new to the newsletter nau mai, kia ora! Welcome, thank you!
Your time and attention are invaluable, and I sincerely hope you find value in this publication.

For this edition, gratitude is due for the Relish community, Bear, Luisa, Tyrone, Traeh, mom & dad, beloved friends I got to see on the west coast of Turtle Island, both of my men's groups, and without a doubt, mi amor Jen. Their presence, support, and reminders have continued to be invaluable in these continued transitions.

This publication is a labour of love and devotion. I create this because I believe in radical self-expression, and have dedicated myself to be a spreader of GOOD in our world. For each edition, I spend hours producing, editing, and weaving content together. It is made possible in part due to patrons who pitch in regularly on patreon. This income has become a humble, reliable, and essential pillar of financial support. It allows this publication and the podcast to both be ad-free (a rarity in this age, let's be honest). I must continue to thank friends and clients who hire and refer me for portraits, weddings, business & organisational storytelling. Are you or do you know people in the Ōtautahi Christchurch or the greater South Pacific region? Book a photo, videoshoot or refer a mate who may be in need of my visual storytelling services. I am ready to create more stories for 2025 and beyond!

Regular contributions aren't your thing? I have a tip jar for one-off contributions - cheers!

Grateful for you Reader.

Mauri ora "to well-being and the living essence in us all,"

-Kai J.

subtledream newsletter

🌏📷 Community-supported, purpose-driven, story and human experience-loving content creator for good. Currently rooting into a new life chapter down under. ✍🏽🎤 Read/sub to the newsletter where I share thought-provoking reflections and handpicked stories that highlight changemakers & visionaries. 📍🗺️ Te Waipounamu South Island, Aotearoa New Zealand

Read more from subtledream newsletter

“Extreme independence or the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I don't need anyone, I'll just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. You learnt ― if I don't put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won't have to be disappointed when they don't show up for me.” by Matt Brown, She Is Not Your Rehab: One Man’s Journey to Healing and the Global Anti-Violence Movement He Inspired reflections Kia ora koutou, 大家好, greetings to you Reader,...

“Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.” by David Deida, Blue Truth reflections As this calendar year comes to a close, I sit with immense gratitude for the challenges, growth, and joy the past 12 months have gifted me. I have been reminded as well as...

“It's not possible to save the world by trying to save it. You need to find what is genuinely yours to offer the world before you can make it a better place. Discovering your unique gift to bring to your community is your greatest opportunity and challenge. The offering of that gift — your true self — is the most you can do to love and serve the world. And it is all the world needs.” by Thomas Berry, Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche open share / musings Kia ora...